Breast squeezer goes to jail

KHON KAEN / PHUKET: Having failed to get anywhere with begging, an unemployed man was arrested on June 6 after squeezing the breasts of a number of women.

Like Little Tramp in Modern Times, the man claimed the act had nothing to do with sexual appetite, but was done in hopes of being arrested and sent to prison – where he would be fed.

At 11am, Khon Kaen Police got a call from shoppers at the aptly-named “Fresh Market” in Khon Kaen’s Muang District, asking for police to arrest a man they caught sexually assaulting female shoppers.

At the scene, police were met by 43-year-old Noi (not her real name), a teacher at a government school.

Mrs Noi directed the police to 30-year-old Wirat Noitamyae, whom she claimed had grabbed her breasts.

Mr Wirat told police that he had been a laborer on a construction site, but was laid off the week before.

Since losing his job, he had wandered the streets of Khon Kaen looking for work.

His job hunt led nowhere and soon he ran out of money and was sleeping on the street.

He tried to beg for enough food to eat, but very few people gave money.

After a few days of this, he thought to himself that if he had nowhere to sleep and nothing to eat, he’d be better off in prison, he told the arresting officers.

A sure way to get incarcerated – and a free meal ticket – would be to squeeze women’s breasts in the market, which is only 200 meters from Muang Khon Kaen Police Station.

Targeting only women older than 30, Mr Wirat was surprised to find his melon-squeezing exercise did not result in the immediate success he had envisioned.

The first few of victims just called him a pervert and walked off.

When he came to Mrs Noi, he used both hands to grab both of her breasts.

This achieved the hoped-for result, as Mrs Noi shouted for other shoppers to come and grab her attacker.

Shortly thereafter, Mr Wirat found himself in a jail cell at the police station.

When Investigating Officer Surasee Inunchot charged Mr Wirat with indecent assault, the suspect reportedly replied, “Good, I’ll have something to eat.”

Editor’s Note: Readers of the Phuket Gazette might well ask, “What has this story got to do with Phuket?” The answer, fortunately, is nothing – absolutely nothing.

— Kom Chad Luek