Connect with us

Property

Phuket Property Watch: The art of travel warfare

Legacy Phuket Gazette

Published

 on 

PHUKET: For those of you who are hopelessly optimistic and always looking for the bright side, even when caught in a monsoon, please move on to the next page of the newspaper. Better yet, find the nearest mirror and hone up on that hopeless one liner – “Have a nice day.”

In this instance, my day has gone from bad to worse and beyond. It’s a bit like a Travelocity tale as acted out by Bruce Willis in a Die Hard sequel. Or, better yet, a hentai graphic comic of Bambi let loose amid the burning ruins of Armageddon.

My day started out at Ngurah Rai airport in Bali, which has been expanded and upgraded, though the growing pains are on the main stage for the entire world to see. I do tend to travel light and my religious zeal in sticking to a hand-carry-only policy typically works wonders for those last minute dashes to departure gates.

As I disembarked my taxi, bade farewell to my chatty driver Made (one of those mono mass-marketing Balinese names which could be likened to Noi here in Thailand or Smith in America), I was greeted by a line that snaked all the way outside the terminal. This was not a good sign and upon further inspection I found that my plan B – another entrance to the departure area – was even longer.

Accepting the inevitable, I dropped into line, my head hung low and silently cursing the tail-end of Chinese New Year. Ahead of me lay a number of Quiksilver-clad downunder types whose overloaded trolleys included surfboards. The crowd was loud yet friendly.

Edging step-by-step closer to the checkpoint and x-ray machine for luggage, suddenly a small woman carrying a flag dashed by in what was nearly Olympic fervor. Nearing the checkpoint, she shouted at the top of her lungs some shrill phrase and next came a bum rush of North Asian tourists who jammed themselves into an all new line next to the entrance. It was not a small group, but was 40-50 people at the least.

Heads in front of me turned, tempers flared and the down under brigade burst into verbal shouts at the guards who started letting the line breakers through. Suddenly two surfboard trolleys were hurtled into the encroached area and a temporary barricade put up to stop the interlopers. Shouting and pushing followed and mayhem ensued with everyone trying to get inside.

This was no Woodstock and the summer of love seemed to be long forgotten. Racial slurs came out, and things got ugly fast as the two groups managed to simultaneously wedge through the gate and eventually find sanctuary inside. What they didn’t know was that another, even longer, line was forming at immigration.

A few days before this happened, I was standing in the check-in line for a flight to Singapore at a long line of waiting passengers when a couple who seemed blissfully ignorant of their surroundings walked past the end of the line and took a position in front of me. Despite my inner demons saying to “jai yen yen“, my loud admonishment fell on deaf ears as did a gentle tap on the shoulder.

This was it, and war had to be declared, as I resorted to grappling a fistful of shirt and a harsh shove backwards. Clearly, violence does work at certain times, and the line breakers backed off to the rear. My fellow passengers congratulated my actions with strong pats on the back and I was able to bask in the warm glow of victory for the next half hour or so. That was until the plane boarded and I found myself next to the offending couple on a two-hour flight aboard an elbow-to-elbow low-cost airline carrier.

So what have I learned from my recent immersion into the art of travel warfare? Is my Western-bred contempt of those who break the rules or lack any etiquette about to doom me to the land of the dinosaurs?

Pretty much the way I see it, is that the world has changed, the old ways have gone out the window. In this day and age, when everyone can fly, the truth is that journeys today, be they short or long, are no different then going up that river in Apocalypse Now looking for Kurtz. Savage warfare is the only way forward. I might have to dust off that aging copy of The Art of War next time I head to the nearest airport.

Bill Barnett is Managing Director of C9Hotelworks. He can be contacted through: c9hotelworks.com

— Bill Barnett

 

Get more from The Thaiger

Looking for your next home in Thailand? Let us match you with a local expert in minutes!

Thank you for your interest!

One of our agents will
reach out to you soon.

I want to:
  • Thailand (ไทย)+66
  • United States+1
  • United Kingdom+44
  • Australia+61
  • Afghanistan (‫افغانستان‬‎)+93
  • Albania (Shqipëri)+355
  • Algeria (‫الجزائر‬‎)+213
  • American Samoa+1684
  • Andorra+376
  • Angola+244
  • Anguilla+1264
  • Antigua and Barbuda+1268
  • Argentina+54
  • Armenia (Հայաստան)+374
  • Aruba+297
  • Australia+61
  • Austria (Österreich)+43
  • Azerbaijan (Azərbaycan)+994
  • Bahamas+1242
  • Bahrain (‫البحرين‬‎)+973
  • Bangladesh (বাংলাদেশ)+880
  • Barbados+1246
  • Belarus (Беларусь)+375
  • Belgium (België)+32
  • Belize+501
  • Benin (Bénin)+229
  • Bermuda+1441
  • Bhutan (འབྲུག)+975
  • Bolivia+591
  • Bosnia and Herzegovina (Босна и Херцеговина)+387
  • Botswana+267
  • Brazil (Brasil)+55
  • British Indian Ocean Territory+246
  • British Virgin Islands+1284
  • Brunei+673
  • Bulgaria (България)+359
  • Burkina Faso+226
  • Burundi (Uburundi)+257
  • Cambodia (កម្ពុជា)+855
  • Cameroon (Cameroun)+237
  • Canada+1
  • Cape Verde (Kabu Verdi)+238
  • Caribbean Netherlands+599
  • Cayman Islands+1345
  • Central African Republic (République centrafricaine)+236
  • Chad (Tchad)+235
  • Chile+56
  • China (中国)+86
  • Christmas Island+61
  • Cocos (Keeling) Islands+61
  • Colombia+57
  • Comoros (‫جزر القمر‬‎)+269
  • Congo (DRC) (Jamhuri ya Kidemokrasia ya Kongo)+243
  • Congo (Republic) (Congo-Brazzaville)+242
  • Cook Islands+682
  • Costa Rica+506
  • Côte d’Ivoire+225
  • Croatia (Hrvatska)+385
  • Cuba+53
  • Curaçao+599
  • Cyprus (Κύπρος)+357
  • Czech Republic (Česká republika)+420
  • Denmark (Danmark)+45
  • Djibouti+253
  • Dominica+1767
  • Dominican Republic (República Dominicana)+1
  • Ecuador+593
  • Egypt (‫مصر‬‎)+20
  • El Salvador+503
  • Equatorial Guinea (Guinea Ecuatorial)+240
  • Eritrea+291
  • Estonia (Eesti)+372
  • Ethiopia+251
  • Falkland Islands (Islas Malvinas)+500
  • Faroe Islands (Føroyar)+298
  • Fiji+679
  • Finland (Suomi)+358
  • France+33
  • French Guiana (Guyane française)+594
  • French Polynesia (Polynésie française)+689
  • Gabon+241
  • Gambia+220
  • Georgia (საქართველო)+995
  • Germany (Deutschland)+49
  • Ghana (Gaana)+233
  • Gibraltar+350
  • Greece (Ελλάδα)+30
  • Greenland (Kalaallit Nunaat)+299
  • Grenada+1473
  • Guadeloupe+590
  • Guam+1671
  • Guatemala+502
  • Guernsey+44
  • Guinea (Guinée)+224
  • Guinea-Bissau (Guiné Bissau)+245
  • Guyana+592
  • Haiti+509
  • Honduras+504
  • Hong Kong (香港)+852
  • Hungary (Magyarország)+36
  • Iceland (Ísland)+354
  • India (भारत)+91
  • Indonesia+62
  • Iran (‫ایران‬‎)+98
  • Iraq (‫العراق‬‎)+964
  • Ireland+353
  • Isle of Man+44
  • Israel (‫ישראל‬‎)+972
  • Italy (Italia)+39
  • Jamaica+1
  • Japan (日本)+81
  • Jersey+44
  • Jordan (‫الأردن‬‎)+962
  • Kazakhstan (Казахстан)+7
  • Kenya+254
  • Kiribati+686
  • Kosovo+383
  • Kuwait (‫الكويت‬‎)+965
  • Kyrgyzstan (Кыргызстан)+996
  • Laos (ລາວ)+856
  • Latvia (Latvija)+371
  • Lebanon (‫لبنان‬‎)+961
  • Lesotho+266
  • Liberia+231
  • Libya (‫ليبيا‬‎)+218
  • Liechtenstein+423
  • Lithuania (Lietuva)+370
  • Luxembourg+352
  • Macau (澳門)+853
  • Macedonia (FYROM) (Македонија)+389
  • Madagascar (Madagasikara)+261
  • Malawi+265
  • Malaysia+60
  • Maldives+960
  • Mali+223
  • Malta+356
  • Marshall Islands+692
  • Martinique+596
  • Mauritania (‫موريتانيا‬‎)+222
  • Mauritius (Moris)+230
  • Mayotte+262
  • Mexico (México)+52
  • Micronesia+691
  • Moldova (Republica Moldova)+373
  • Monaco+377
  • Mongolia (Монгол)+976
  • Montenegro (Crna Gora)+382
  • Montserrat+1664
  • Morocco (‫المغرب‬‎)+212
  • Mozambique (Moçambique)+258
  • Myanmar (Burma) (မြန်မာ)+95
  • Namibia (Namibië)+264
  • Nauru+674
  • Nepal (नेपाल)+977
  • Netherlands (Nederland)+31
  • New Caledonia (Nouvelle-Calédonie)+687
  • New Zealand+64
  • Nicaragua+505
  • Niger (Nijar)+227
  • Nigeria+234
  • Niue+683
  • Norfolk Island+672
  • North Korea (조선 민주주의 인민 공화국)+850
  • Northern Mariana Islands+1670
  • Norway (Norge)+47
  • Oman (‫عُمان‬‎)+968
  • Pakistan (‫پاکستان‬‎)+92
  • Palau+680
  • Palestine (‫فلسطين‬‎)+970
  • Panama (Panamá)+507
  • Papua New Guinea+675
  • Paraguay+595
  • Peru (Perú)+51
  • Philippines+63
  • Poland (Polska)+48
  • Portugal+351
  • Puerto Rico+1
  • Qatar (‫قطر‬‎)+974
  • Réunion (La Réunion)+262
  • Romania (România)+40
  • Russia (Россия)+7
  • Rwanda+250
  • Saint Barthélemy+590
  • Saint Helena+290
  • Saint Kitts and Nevis+1869
  • Saint Lucia+1758
  • Saint Martin (Saint-Martin (partie française))+590
  • Saint Pierre and Miquelon (Saint-Pierre-et-Miquelon)+508
  • Saint Vincent and the Grenadines+1784
  • Samoa+685
  • San Marino+378
  • São Tomé and Príncipe (São Tomé e Príncipe)+239
  • Saudi Arabia (‫المملكة العربية السعودية‬‎)+966
  • Senegal (Sénégal)+221
  • Serbia (Србија)+381
  • Seychelles+248
  • Sierra Leone+232
  • Singapore+65
  • Sint Maarten+1721
  • Slovakia (Slovensko)+421
  • Slovenia (Slovenija)+386
  • Solomon Islands+677
  • Somalia (Soomaaliya)+252
  • South Africa+27
  • South Korea (대한민국)+82
  • South Sudan (‫جنوب السودان‬‎)+211
  • Spain (España)+34
  • Sri Lanka (ශ්‍රී ලංකාව)+94
  • Sudan (‫السودان‬‎)+249
  • Suriname+597
  • Svalbard and Jan Mayen+47
  • Swaziland+268
  • Sweden (Sverige)+46
  • Switzerland (Schweiz)+41
  • Syria (‫سوريا‬‎)+963
  • Taiwan (台灣)+886
  • Tajikistan+992
  • Tanzania+255
  • Thailand (ไทย)+66
  • Timor-Leste+670
  • Togo+228
  • Tokelau+690
  • Tonga+676
  • Trinidad and Tobago+1868
  • Tunisia (‫تونس‬‎)+216
  • Turkey (Türkiye)+90
  • Turkmenistan+993
  • Turks and Caicos Islands+1649
  • Tuvalu+688
  • U.S. Virgin Islands+1340
  • Uganda+256
  • Ukraine (Україна)+380
  • United Arab Emirates (‫الإمارات العربية المتحدة‬‎)+971
  • United Kingdom+44
  • United States+1
  • Uruguay+598
  • Uzbekistan (Oʻzbekiston)+998
  • Vanuatu+678
  • Vatican City (Città del Vaticano)+39
  • Venezuela+58
  • Vietnam (Việt Nam)+84
  • Wallis and Futuna (Wallis-et-Futuna)+681
  • Western Sahara (‫الصحراء الغربية‬‎)+212
  • Yemen (‫اليمن‬‎)+967
  • Zambia+260
  • Zimbabwe+263
  • Åland Islands+358

    image

    Join the conversation and have your say on Thailand news published on The Thaiger.

    Thaiger Talk is our new Thaiger Community where you can join the discussion on everything happening in Thailand right now.

    Please note that articles are not posted to the forum instantly and can take up to 20 min before being visible. Click for more information and the Thaiger Talk Guidelines.

    Click to comment

    You must be logged in to post a comment Login

    Leave a Reply

    Archiving articles from the Phuket Gazette circa 1998 - 2017. View the Phuket Gazette online archive and Digital Gazette PDF Prints.

    image

    Follow Thaiger by email:

    Phuket6 mins ago

    Phuket thief allegedly stole more than 30 times, said he needed gaming money

    Crime27 mins ago

    Man threatens PM Prayut’s daughters on Twitter, sentenced to 5 years in prison

    South44 mins ago

    Tourists who went missing in southern Thailand park found safe

    Sponsored2 hours ago

    Regents International School Pattaya – the only school in Thailand to offer IBDP and A Level programme

    image
    Tourism47 mins ago

    Japan lifts travel advisory for Thailand, 35 other countries

    Coronavirus (Covid-19)1 hour ago

    Health officials call for more elderly Thais to get their Covid-19 boosters

    Thailand1 hour ago

    Thais in Japan protest in front of PM Prayut’s hotel

    image
    Join the conversation on the Thaiger Talk forums today!
    Eastern Thailand1 hour ago

    Driver cheats death after flying object smashes through windscreen

    Thailand1 hour ago

    Thailand’s authorities launch donation campaign to feed rescued animals

    Thailand1 hour ago

    Thailand prepares for monkeypox outbreak, asks WHO for smallpox vaccine supply

    Thailand1 hour ago

    Is it too late for Thailand’s Nightlife? | GMT

    Coronavirus (Covid-19)2 hours ago

    Government urges bars, nightlife venues to remain safe on re-opening

    Tourism2 hours ago

    Tourism officials ramp up marketing campaigns to target short-haul markets

    Guides17 hours ago

    Take a workation at these 5 best places in Koh Samui

    Thailand17 hours ago

    Thailand’s monkeys are starving due to fear of monkeypox

    Events17 hours ago

    Deep Week in Phuket – The world’s largest open freediving festival

    Thailand8 months ago

    Morning Top Stories Thailand | Police to end protests, Human Trafficking | September 14

    Thailand1 year ago

    Thailand News Today | Thai Airways in rehab, All go for Songkran | March 4

    Tourism1 year ago

    Phuket’s nightlife. Yes, bars and clubs are still open | VIDEO

    Phuket1 year ago

    Thailand News Today | Covid passport talks, Thai Airways heads to court | March 2

    Tourism1 year ago

    Phuket Thai food treats you need to try | VIDEO

    Thailand1 year ago

    Thailand News Today | Bars, pubs and restaurants ‘sort of’ back to normal | Feb 23

    Tourism1 year ago

    In search of Cat & Dog Cafés in Phuket Town | VIDEO

    Thailand1 year ago

    Thailand News Today | Gambling crackdown, Seafood market to reopen, Vlogger challenge | Jan 21

    Thailand1 year ago

    Thailand News Today | Covid testing for visas, Business impact, Vaccine approval | January 19

    Thailand1 year ago

    Thailand News Today | Weekend Bangkok bombs, Thailand fires, Covid update | January 18

    Thailand1 year ago

    Thailand News Today | Stray car on runway, Indonesian quake, 300 baht tourist fee | January 15

    Thailand1 year ago

    Thailand News Today | Governor off respirator, sex-trafficking arrest, condo prices falling | January 14

    Thailand1 year ago

    Thailand News Today | Chinese vaccine, Thailand ‘drug hub’, Covid update | January 13

    Thailand1 year ago

    Thailand News Today | Bangkok may ease restrictions, Phuket bar curfew, Vaccine roll out | January 12

    Thailand1 year ago

    Thailand News Today | Covid latest, Cockfights closed down, Bryde’s Whale beached | January 11

    Trending