Your way to love: Tips and tricks to find the one for you

Photo via pexels (Jasmine Carter)

Love is hard. In this generation, the definition of love has changed. Many people are not looking for the same ideals as past generations. Think back to the last time you were truly in love and felt like you found the person you wanted to spend the rest of your life with, it’s hard, isn’t it? However, don’t be discouraged, you can find the one for you as we will discuss the tips and tricks to find the perfect lover for you! Even with the change in dating styles of this generation, there are ways to improve how you interact with others to sustain a healthy relationship.

Modern dating

Nowadays, dating consists of hookups and ‘situationships’. Both of these terms signify that relationships aren’t viewed as long-term as many people are more interested in meeting new people and not having an exclusive relationship with one person. Although many people are complaining about the new perspective that this generation has on love, others are content with the idea of not committing. With a wide spectrum of views on this version of ‘love’, it is increasingly difficult for many to find a life-long partner. The increase in meeting people for other reasons than a long-term relationship has a huge impact on the decreased birth rate and increased marriage age of women around the world.

Tips and tricks for lovers

However, not being able to find a partner isn’t always due to others and the trend of not being exclusive. If you aren’t able to find the perfect one, it is a sign that self-reflection is necessary. Let’s dive into some tips and tricks for how you can get yourself a healthy relationship!

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Self-love and self-improvement

It is always mentioned that you can’t love someone if you don’t love yourself. I’m here to tell you that the common saying is completely true. Treating your partner well is only possible if you know how to treat yourself well. Although you may believe that you can treat your partner perfectly without any correlation to how you treat yourself, unfortunately, you’re wrong. It takes time till it shows that your lack of self-love can fully impact your relationship.

To fix this issue, time and determination are the key components. Being able to acknowledge what must be worked on is an essential part of self-growth. Within those components, there are a few things that can be changed: physical traits, mental health, and social skills.

Being comfortable in your skin

Be comfortable in your skin. Do not feel the need to change yourself for anyone, but yourself. A balance of mindful eating and a consistent exercise plan can lead you to a healthier lifestyle. However, that decision should be based on how you feel about yourself. It is important to note that you should improve your health on your own accord and not do so in a negative manner.

Negatively viewing your body can lead to detrimental issues and it is not worth changing how you view yourself to become your crush’s ‘type’. Someone who loves you will not force you to change the way you look, be healthy for yourself and healthy relationships will come with it.

Mental health

Your mental health heavily connects with the other components of your life. As a pillar of your well-being, treat yourself well. Mental health can impact how you treat yourself and others, often taking control of your emotions. Although many people look for those with high IQ (intelligence quotient), EQ (emotional quotient) or in other words, emotional intelligence, is a significant factor in relationships. Understanding how to navigate through tough situations and being aware is essential when you are getting to know and dating your significant other.

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The smartest people aren’t always the most successful or fulfilled, it is those who know how to navigate and manage their emotions to best solve their issues. Learning how to do so can change your whole viewpoint on life and how you treat not only yourself but your significant other. For example, in the case that you are arguing with your significant other, be mindful of how you approach the situation.

One of the biggest ways to have a partner lose interest in you is by not knowing how to deal with situations with a calm approach and only knowing how to address issues with anger. Lashing out at your lover could be the reason why your relationship doesn’t end well. Other cases include gaslighting, verbal abuse, physical abuse, and many other toxic behaviours. Many times, it is hard to realise that you are being toxic to others when you believe you are doing the best for your partner. At this point and in any situation, it’s time to step back and view the situation as a whole and find ways to solve this issue together. Fixing your attitude and approach to life, and having a positive mindset, can truly change how you interact with others and view life in a more positive light.

Social skills

Having good communication and body language is a must in approaching a good relationship. To make someone comfortable, whether you are an introvert or an extrovert, it’s as simple as maintaining good social skills that may include keeping eye contact, being genuine, and being open to new ideas. Being open-minded can help you meet many new people and learn about their perspectives. It is not necessary to be an extrovert to have good social skills, so don’t let that be a factor that stops you from developing your social skills to meet your future lover.

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Photo via pexels (cottonbro studio)

Although there are many key skills to finding a partner, here are some of the top skills that you could aim to improve:

  • Confidence: Believe in yourself and your worth.
  • Good communication: Listen actively, express yourself clearly, and show genuine interest in conversations.
  • Empathy: Understand and share the feelings of others.
  • Sense of humour: Use humour to build rapport and make interactions enjoyable.
  • Body language awareness: Maintain positive body language, including eye contact, good posture, and smiling. Be approachable, friendly, and able to engage in small talk and deeper conversations.
  • Emotional intelligence: Manage your own emotions and understand the emotions of others.
  • Patience: Allow relationships to develop naturally without rushing.
  • Respect: Treat others with kindness, consideration, and respect.
  • Resilience: Handle rejection gracefully and learn from experiences.
  • Authenticity: Be genuine and true to yourself.
  • Trustworthiness: Build and maintain trust through honesty and reliability.
  • Supportiveness: Be there for others, showing support for their goals and challenges.
  • Adaptability: Be open to new experiences and flexible in your approach to relationships.

Being in a relationship requires a lot of effort. However, this effort should not be a burden, it should be the growth of both individuals. Learning to accept your shortcomings and find a way to fix them is how great relationships are formed. Nothing should be forced and often, the right person for you comes when it’s the right time.

Finding a relationship depends on both people. Working on yourself is a huge part and eating healthy is an excellent way to start building your body to become stronger. Trying new healthy foods such as green and clean avocado recipes is a beneficial way to incorporate vitamins and healthy fats into your diet.


Bernice Zheng

With an interest in Product Management and Marketing, Bernice's experience consists of being a Growth Marketing Intern at RippleMatch, a Product Management Intern for TUMI, and the Co-Director of Princeton’s Entrepreneurship Club (Tigers In Product). Her passion for photography and videography has also drawn her to develop her marketing and content creation skills.

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