How do you repay interest on your debt?
Seventeen years of compound interest that can add up pretty quickly. Seventeen years of recovery. Cocaine and alcohol were not my problem and they were merely a solution to my problem.
My problem is MYSELF.
Recovery of myself; from all the layers of my self imposed toxic crap. The story under the sticky sludge of being and believing : unacceptable, unworthy and of course being unloveable.
Key word – self imposed. Nobody was doing it to me. It was me choosing to do it to myself; let’s insert 100% responsibility and ownership.
What was the trigger? I am the trigger.
That’s a pretty big shot to the Ol‘ impressive sense of self.
“It was a tough pill to swallow.”
I wouldn’t be standing where I am today if it wasn’t for another human being reaching out and protesting “I see the humanity in you …scars and all!” One alcoholic reaching out and helping another.
Noel, Sue’s father, was one of the people who helped dig the well for so many people. I wish i had the chance to have a coffee with Noel.
Something tells me we would have got along pretty good and I bet he wouldn’t have had any problem calling me on my own BS. That’s a good thing; its when people say nothing that we should be worried. I have to constantly remind myself that MY BEST THINKING is what landed me the Golden Ticket of recovery. He did so much for so many.
Noel thank you for digging the well.
Sue told me a story of how the family was in a horrific car accident and the other driver was drunk. What did Noel do? Noel walked the drunk through recovery and did his part to help him get sober. He could have pressed charges, held onto the anger for almost killing his family but instead HE GAVE IT AWAY.
Gave it away asking nothing in return. Living the solution.
I’m extremely grateful to have amazing people in my life who continue to support my path of recovery. It’s a process, and at times can be a real struggle.
Who said it would be easy? It’s not easy , but so flipping worth it!!!!
Sue graciously donated this fridge to our recovery group.
It’s now fully stocked with soda waters. We now meet three nights a week and the door is always open to anyone who may be in the same deep dark pit of hopelessness and helplessness.
My deppest LOVE and GRATITUDE to every one who has helped me along the way and who can be a beacon of light for others.
We are all in this TOGETHER.
Join the conversation and have your say on Thailand news published on The Thaiger.
Thaiger Talk is our new Thaiger Community where you can join the discussion on everything happening in Thailand right now.
Please note that articles are not posted to the forum instantly and can take up to 20 min before being visible. Click for more information and the Thaiger Talk Guidelines.