It’s a snap! Busted boner puts owner in sick bay

PHUKET CITY: Vachira Phuket Hospital on Wednesday morning received a transfer patient in a lot of pain from a somewhat embarrassing illness – a broken penis.

Being transferred from Patong Hospital as he was, one might assume that the patient had done the damage in an over-energetic nocturnal romp.

However, the patient – a 28-year-old Phang Nga native who understandably wished for his name not to be published – insisted that the damage was self inflicted during an attempt to subdue a morning erection before going to work on a parasailing boat off Patong Beach.

The patient said that to try and get rid of the erection he had grabbed his penis around the mid-section with both hands and bent it violently. This normally did the trick and he had successfully used the strategy since childhood, but on this occasion he heard a loud crack like that of a breaking twig.

“This time I got a strange feeling like I’d torn a muscle. It hurt very much and started to swell. At first I didn’t tell anyone…but then I couldn’t stand it any longer so I went to the doctor.

“When I got to Patong Hospital, the doctor took me to the x-ray room and gave me medicine to reduce the swelling. He also stuck a tube up my penis so I could pee, but none of this really helped.

The doctor decided to transfer me to Vachira Phuket Hospital for further treatment as my penis was still very swollen – about four times as big as usual. The doctor gave me more anti-inflammatory drugs, but said that if it didn’t get better he woulf have to operate to remove the blood trapped in it,” he said.

The patient was sure his member would still work after it healed because even at the height of the swelling he still suffered from unexpected erections. These were extremely painful, he said.

The patient said that he wanted to emphasize that he didn’t snap his penis to punish his girlfriend, or because she wouldn’t have sex with him. Also, the persistent erection wasn’t because he was over-sexed, as reported by at least one newspaper.

Dr Rewat Wisarutwetch, Director of the Department of Medical Services, said that to break one’s own penis would be no easy matter. Owing to the high concentration of nerve endings, the pain caused by the amount of force needed to break the organ would be too great.

Usually broken penises are caused by rough sex, he added.

The standard treatment is a combination of painkillers, antibiotics and anti-inflammatory drugs – and a catheter for patients who are unable to urinate.

After a broken phallus has healed fully, it is able to function normally again, Dr Rewat said.

Men who suffer from very high sex drives, or have morning erections that refuse to die down, should consult a doctor who can help get the member back under control. This is normally done by prescribing drugs such as Valium.

— Kom Chad Leuk & Gazette Reporters