Connect with us


Santa to remain in Phuket for high season



PHUKET: In an exclusive, impromptu interview with the Phuket Gazette earlier this morning, Santa Clause – spotted arriving at a Phuket beach by long-tail boat on the last of his deliveries to the island’s good boys and girls – said he plans to take some time out here.

Mr Clause said he had been thrown off his sleigh and dumped in the sea when his reindeer became “disorientated” on the approach to Patong Beach. Fortunately, a local fisherman had plucked him from the water and taken him inland so he could finish his work.

“The reindeer were distracted by the bright lights and cacophony of beer-bar music and someone screaming ‘tonight, tonight’, over and over again at 90 decibels,” said Khun Santa.

“I need a break, and I’ve heard there’s lots to do here,” he said.

“I want to try out these wonderful jet-ski things and have a nice long body massage,” he said.

Mr Clause volunteered that he might invest in some land and seek part-time employment as an Elvis impersonator if he can get a work permit. He admitted that his deliveries earlier today had been conducted without such a permit, and confided that he had no visa since he’d landed in Thailand near Koh Kaew where  there were no Immigration facilities.

As for his reasons for wishing to hang out in Phuket for awhile, he said he was simply stressed out.

“I can’t keep up with the pace anymore. They don’t make toys like they used to, and everyone is emailing and texting me non-stop with their Christmas lists now,” he complained.

“The X Station 6 is coming out next year and we have to test every one of them before delivery. Since Grand Theft Auto came out, the elves have been slacking and are now rather aggressive,” he said.

Asked which resort he’d be staying at, Mr Clause said he was perfectly happy camping out under the stars on the beach.

But anyone hoping to see this currently illegal alien is going to have difficulty spotting him.

“I’m going to shave off my beard and put on shorts, a muscle top, sandals and socks to blend in with the other tourists around Patong,” he said.

Asked what gifts most Phuketians had been given this year, Mr Clause mumbled something about a bad Internet connection out of Thailand and not knowing for sure what everyone wanted. Pressed for further details on this, he said nothing, smiled, opened an old cloth bag and handed this reporter a stack of discount coupons for tailor shops and tuk-tuk rides.

Numbed, I watched in silence as the kind old man wandered off in quest of a beach chair.

— Patong reporter


Get more from The Thaiger

Join the conversation and have your say on Thailand news published on The Thaiger.

Thaiger Talk is our new Thaiger Community where you can join the discussion on everything happening in Thailand right now.

Please note that articles are not posted to the forum instantly and can take up to 20 min before being visible. Click for more information and the Thaiger Talk Guidelines.

Click to comment

You must be logged in to post a comment Login

Leave a Reply

Archiving articles from the Phuket Gazette circa 1998 - 2017. View the Phuket Gazette online archive and Digital Gazette PDF Prints.

Follow Thaiger by email:

Environment4 hours ago

Sea turtle choked to death on plastic waste

Thailand4 hours ago

Thailand News Today | Big Feast For Monkeys At Lopburi Festival

South5 hours ago

Buddhists and Muslims rally for peace together in South Thailand

Sponsored12 hours ago

What makes Tops Fine Food the ideal place to shop for premium food in Bangkok

Thailand5 hours ago

Cowardly rapist arrested for a fifth time in Isaan

Songkhla6 hours ago

Russian crewman’s hand cut off in Songkhla ship accident

Transport6 hours ago

Cat out of the bag – Stowaway found in JFK passenger’s luggage

Join the conversation on the Thaiger Talk forums today!
Thailand6 hours ago

Murderer offers 100,000 baht to netizens to cut off his EM ankle bracelet

World Cup7 hours ago

Football fans riot in Brussels after Belgium defeat

Tourism7 hours ago

TAT holds Amazing Thailand Fest 2022 in India

Phuket7 hours ago

Gus, 7, youngest Thai person to reach Everest Base Camp

Expats7 hours ago

New direct flight between Muscat and Bangkok

Bangkok8 hours ago

Elderly Australian amputee abandoned in a hostel receiving care

Crime8 hours ago

Man arrested in South Thailand for attempted murder in Phuket

Thailand8 hours ago

Pattaya motorcycle taxi rider arrested for sexually harassing Thai singer

Cosmetic Surgery8 hours ago

Boobs ban! Macro-textured implants outlawed in Thailand

Thailand1 year ago

Morning Top Stories Thailand | Police to end protests, Human Trafficking | September 14

Thailand2 years ago

Thailand News Today | Thai Airways in rehab, All go for Songkran | March 4

Tourism2 years ago

Phuket’s nightlife. Yes, bars and clubs are still open | VIDEO

Phuket2 years ago

Thailand News Today | Covid passport talks, Thai Airways heads to court | March 2

Tourism2 years ago

Phuket Thai food treats you need to try | VIDEO

Thailand2 years ago

Thailand News Today | Bars, pubs and restaurants ‘sort of’ back to normal | Feb 23

Tourism2 years ago

In search of Cat & Dog Cafés in Phuket Town | VIDEO

Thailand2 years ago

Thailand News Today | Gambling crackdown, Seafood market to reopen, Vlogger challenge | Jan 21

Thailand2 years ago

Thailand News Today | Covid testing for visas, Business impact, Vaccine approval | January 19

Thailand2 years ago

Thailand News Today | Weekend Bangkok bombs, Thailand fires, Covid update | January 18

Thailand2 years ago

Thailand News Today | Stray car on runway, Indonesian quake, 300 baht tourist fee | January 15

Thailand2 years ago

Thailand News Today | Governor off respirator, sex-trafficking arrest, condo prices falling | January 14

Thailand2 years ago

Thailand News Today | Chinese vaccine, Thailand ‘drug hub’, Covid update | January 13

Thailand2 years ago

Thailand News Today | Bangkok may ease restrictions, Phuket bar curfew, Vaccine roll out | January 12

Thailand2 years ago

Thailand News Today | Covid latest, Cockfights closed down, Bryde’s Whale beached | January 11