Connect with us

Phuket

Santa to remain in Phuket for high season

Legacy Phuket Gazette

Published

 on 

PHUKET: In an exclusive, impromptu interview with the Phuket Gazette earlier this morning, Santa Clause – spotted arriving at a Phuket beach by long-tail boat on the last of his deliveries to the island’s good boys and girls – said he plans to take some time out here.

Mr Clause said he had been thrown off his sleigh and dumped in the sea when his reindeer became “disorientated” on the approach to Patong Beach. Fortunately, a local fisherman had plucked him from the water and taken him inland so he could finish his work.

“The reindeer were distracted by the bright lights and cacophony of beer-bar music and someone screaming ‘tonight, tonight’, over and over again at 90 decibels,” said Khun Santa.

“I need a break, and I’ve heard there’s lots to do here,” he said.

“I want to try out these wonderful jet-ski things and have a nice long body massage,” he said.

Mr Clause volunteered that he might invest in some land and seek part-time employment as an Elvis impersonator if he can get a work permit. He admitted that his deliveries earlier today had been conducted without such a permit, and confided that he had no visa since he’d landed in Thailand near Koh Kaew where  there were no Immigration facilities.

As for his reasons for wishing to hang out in Phuket for awhile, he said he was simply stressed out.

“I can’t keep up with the pace anymore. They don’t make toys like they used to, and everyone is emailing and texting me non-stop with their Christmas lists now,” he complained.

“The X Station 6 is coming out next year and we have to test every one of them before delivery. Since Grand Theft Auto came out, the elves have been slacking and are now rather aggressive,” he said.

Asked which resort he’d be staying at, Mr Clause said he was perfectly happy camping out under the stars on the beach.

But anyone hoping to see this currently illegal alien is going to have difficulty spotting him.

“I’m going to shave off my beard and put on shorts, a muscle top, sandals and socks to blend in with the other tourists around Patong,” he said.

Asked what gifts most Phuketians had been given this year, Mr Clause mumbled something about a bad Internet connection out of Thailand and not knowing for sure what everyone wanted. Pressed for further details on this, he said nothing, smiled, opened an old cloth bag and handed this reporter a stack of discount coupons for tailor shops and tuk-tuk rides.

Numbed, I watched in silence as the kind old man wandered off in quest of a beach chair.

— Patong reporter

 

Get more from The Thaiger

📱 Download our app on Android or iOS
👋 Have your say on our Thailand forums
🔔 Subscribe to our daily email newsletter
📺 Subscribe / Join YouTube for daily shows
👍 Like/Follow us on Facebook
🐦 FOLLOW us on Twitter
📷 FOLLOW us on Instagram

image

Join the conversation and have your say on Thailand news published on The Thaiger.

Thaiger Talk is our new Thaiger Community where you can join the discussion on everything happening in Thailand right now.

Please note that articles are not posted to the forum instantly and can take up to 20 min before being visible. Click for more information and the Thaiger Talk Guidelines.

Click to comment

You must be logged in to post a comment Login

Leave a Reply

Archiving articles from the Phuket Gazette circa 1998 - 2017. View the Phuket Gazette online archive and Digital Gazette PDF Prints.

Follow Thaiger by email:

World14 mins ago

China announces cryptocurrency trading is illegal

North East27 mins ago

Stolen 72 year old elephant returned to owner after 18 years

Thailand1 hour ago

Pattaya readjusts tourism goals for high season

Welcome back to Thailand!

Thaiger is getting behind local businesses for the restart of tourism in Thailand - up to 50% discounts across all advertising packages!

Thailand2 hours ago

Phuket relaxes checkpoint requirements to help tourists and health officials

Phuket2 hours ago

Phuket Covid-19: 2 deaths, 4 Sandbox infections, 10k total cases

Thailand4 hours ago

Facebook page that claims to sell dog meat met with scorn on social media

image
Join the conversation on the Thaiger Talk forums today!
Thailand5 hours ago

Thailand welcomes its first AI influencer, “AI Ailynn”

Thailand5 hours ago

Umbrellas out, more monsoonal rain in the wake of ‘Dianmu’

Thailand6 hours ago

Sunday Covid update: 125 deaths and 12,353 new cases

Thailand15 hours ago

Record-breaking 1 million Covid-19 vaccines given yesterday

Technology18 hours ago

Junk messages must now be blocked by Thai mobile carriers

Kanchanaburi19 hours ago

Abusive Kanchanaburi temple rehab centre ordered to close.

Phuket20 hours ago

Phuket begins new subdermal injection method for vaccines

Bangkok21 hours ago

Police bust hotel party with ecstasy and ketamine, 59 arrested

Coronavirus (Covid-19)22 hours ago

Phuket Covid-19: 5 new deaths and 4 new Sandbox infections

Tourism4 days ago

Travel data to Thailand for 106 million people unprotected online

Economy6 days ago

Cuts to import duty on alcohol, cigars, part of plan to entice wealthy foreigners

Crime5 days ago

OnlyFans content creators arrested by Thai police on pornography charges

Thailand5 days ago

Party at luxury villa in Phuket raided, homeowner allegedly assaults police officer

Coronavirus Vaccines6 days ago

Doctors say cardiac arrest caused death of man given AstraZeneca booster shot

Coronavirus (Covid-19)7 days ago

Covid-19: Detailed info on vaccinations, hospitalisations, and provinces

Thailand6 days ago

Around 20 people arrested at Koh Samui restaurant for drinking alcohol, gambling, playing pool

Bangkok5 days ago

Governor says Bangkok will only re-open when safe to do so

Phuket3 days ago

Police suddenly began raiding Patong bars selling alcohol

Pattaya4 days ago

October Pattaya reopening on schedule according to mayor

Thailand5 days ago

Bangkok re-opening Criteria, Thai Airways keeps Struggling | Good Morning Thailand | Episode 93

Thailand6 days ago

Morning Top Stories | No approved October re-opening, Phuket easing restrictions | September 20

Crime4 days ago

Ex-cop “Joe Ferrari,” other officers charged with violating discipline policy over suspect’s death

Phuket7 days ago

Phuket domestic travel rules need streamlining, officials discuss

Thailand5 days ago

Government warns that posting pornographic material is illegal following OnlyFans creator being questioned by police

Thailand2 weeks ago

Morning Top Stories Thailand | Police to end protests, Human Trafficking | September 14

Thailand7 months ago

Thailand News Today | Thai Airways in rehab, All go for Songkran | March 4

Tourism7 months ago

Phuket’s nightlife. Yes, bars and clubs are still open | VIDEO

Phuket7 months ago

Thailand News Today | Covid passport talks, Thai Airways heads to court | March 2

Tourism7 months ago

Phuket Thai food treats you need to try | VIDEO

Thailand7 months ago

Thailand News Today | Bars, pubs and restaurants ‘sort of’ back to normal | Feb 23

Tourism7 months ago

In search of Cat & Dog Cafés in Phuket Town | VIDEO

Thailand8 months ago

Thailand News Today | Gambling crackdown, Seafood market to reopen, Vlogger challenge | Jan 21

Thailand8 months ago

Thailand News Today | Covid testing for visas, Business impact, Vaccine approval | January 19

Thailand8 months ago

Thailand News Today | Weekend Bangkok bombs, Thailand fires, Covid update | January 18

Thailand8 months ago

Thailand News Today | Stray car on runway, Indonesian quake, 300 baht tourist fee | January 15

Thailand8 months ago

Thailand News Today | Governor off respirator, sex-trafficking arrest, condo prices falling | January 14

Thailand9 months ago

Thailand News Today | Chinese vaccine, Thailand ‘drug hub’, Covid update | January 13

Thailand9 months ago

Thailand News Today | Bangkok may ease restrictions, Phuket bar curfew, Vaccine roll out | January 12

Thailand9 months ago

Thailand News Today | Covid latest, Cockfights closed down, Bryde’s Whale beached | January 11

Trending