Aussie soldiers massacre Gazettes 45-0

PHUKET TOWN: Despite concerted efforts to reduce their opponents’ fitness by feeding them copious amounts of amber liquid the night before, the Phuket Gazettes rugby team were unable to withstand an Australian Army onslaught on Saturday, and were massacred 45-0. After the 15-a-side match at the Saphan Hin stadium, Gazettes skipper Patrick Cotter was gracious in defeat. “It was a tough game,” he said. “The ball was slippery, and we were playing in wintry English conditions. The better team won. We were simply outplayed by superior fitness and skills.” The Aussies scored two tries, both converted, in the first quarter of the match, with Mark Williamson and Michael Croo leading the charge. After the three-minute break, the Gazettes made a strong comeback, confining play mostly to the Australian end of the pitch. Sitthiha Singsuk, the sprinter of the team, nearly made it, getting within two meters from the goal line before being smothered by the speedier Australians. Despite the pressure, the Aussies remained cool and, seizing the moment, sneaked another past the Gazettes’ defense line. Cedric Haas made the try, but not the conversion. By the third quarter, the Gazettes were looking decidedly ragged, and the Aussies took full advantage, scoring three tries and two conversions through Williamson, Mark Franke and captain Billy Botwright. Desperate to get points on the board, the Gazettes rallied in the last quarter, but failed to land a face-saving try. They did, however, managed to hold the visitors off until the last minute of the match, when Scott Hann slipped through for a try and conversion. Botwright was modest about his team’s victory. “It was a last-minute makeshift team. We are pretty happy to have won. We would like to thank the Gazettes for the good times and the free kicks.”