Super-sized surprise

BANGKOK: Following a report by a 30-year-old woman on July 25, Buppharam police thought they had a rapist at large. Upon more detailed questioning of the suspect, it turned out that the large problem was actually the size of the man’s member.

A woman, who police named only as “K. Phen”, 30, told police that a taxi driver had taken her to a “drawing curtain” motel – the type with the concealed car parking spot usually used for illicit trysts or planning crimes – and raped her.

Officers quickly tracked down the suspect, Somchai Saema, 32, and pulled him in for questioning. K. Somchai admitted that he had had sex with K. Phen, but she had consented. The problem was that she had wanted him to wear a condom, but as he had an “inhumanly large” penis, he could not get any to fit him.

K. Somchai was not, apparently, born with such a magnificent member but had vastly increased its size by injecting it with silicone while he was in prison.

Police decided the best solution was for the two to sort it out between themselves. After a suitable amount of compensation for the unprotected insertion was agreed on, the pair were released.