Connect with us

Thai Life

Phuket Humor: Land of Smiles – A belated Christmas carol



” ‘Twas the day before Christmas and all was calm at the 91.5 FM studio in Kathu, with nothing to be heard but the occasional tuk-tuk and the odd tailor offering to make a suit, ‘Special price for Christmas, Sir’. The afternoon show hosted by The Doris was in full swing….”

PHUKET: Then there came a knock at the door. “Is this Santa with my Christmas bonus?” asked The Doris.

“Not possible,” replied ‘the man that does not speak’.

And there behind the door was Santa Claus in disguise, fully dressed as an official from the Phuket Labor and Employment office.

“I have come to check all your staff credentials,” he politely explained and was invited into the office.

‘She who must be obeyed’ duly provided everything required. Even The Doris (who always carries his credentials with him) was able to satisfy the officers.

After a short period of photocopying and picture taking, they climbed aboard their very special Santa sleigh, disguised as a Toyota mini-bus, and went on their way, no doubt seeking mince pies and festive spirits.

Christmas day arrived and with it the ghosts of Christmas past in the form of three DJs: Garry Holden, Paul Norris and Gerry Mitchell.

All was calm in the realm of 91.5 FM, when all of a sudden there was another knock on the door.

“Who can it be this time?” asked ‘the man that does not speak’.

“Easy,” replied The Doris, “It’s Santa returning with my Christmas bonus”.

However, opening the door 91.5 FM was delighted to see it was Santa and his helpers again, only this time dressed as officers of the Phuket Immigration Department.

“Two official visits in two days?” ‘She who must be obeyed’ inquired… and both around the Christmas holiday?”

“Just doing our job,” replied the senior Immigration official.

“No worries,” ‘She who must be obeyed’ retorted and proceeded to produce all the same paperwork and photocopies from the Christmas Eve visit.

“Excellent, and sorry for disturbing you on your Christmas Day,” came the response after a short while. “We will be on our way”.

The three immigration officers climbed aboard their sleigh (also disguised as a Toyota mini-bus) and went on their way.

The Doris returned to his Special Christmas Day Show, “Still no bonus…,” he was heard mumbling.

Gerry arrived in preparation for his special Sunset Sounds show and ‘the man that does not speak’ sat contemplating life and the universe and wondering about coincidences.

All was calm and peaceful and goodwill spread throughout the realm of 91.5 FM.

— The man that does not speak


Get more from The Thaiger

Join the conversation and have your say on Thailand news published on The Thaiger.

Thaiger Talk is our new Thaiger Community where you can join the discussion on everything happening in Thailand right now.

Please note that articles are not posted to the forum instantly and can take up to 20 min before being visible. Click for more information and the Thaiger Talk Guidelines.

Archiving articles from the Phuket Gazette circa 1998 - 2017. View the Phuket Gazette online archive and Digital Gazette PDF Prints.

Follow Thaiger by email:

Environment1 hour ago

PM warns Thailand to brace itself for potential flooding

Travel2 hours ago

Watch Koh Samui’s magical sunset from these sunset bars

Thailand2 hours ago

Local hero predicts building collapse, saves countless lives in eastern Thailand

Sponsored6 hours ago

Enjoy a splashing time and immerse yourself in Thai Mythology in Andamanda Phuket

Phuket2 hours ago

9 year old boy kills a 7 year old girl with a police pistol in Phuket

Press Room2 hours ago

Southeast Asia’s sauciest tech event, Techsauce Global Summit to return to Bangkok in physical form

Thailand2 hours ago

Thailand & China fighter jets take off on Falcon Strike drills

Join the conversation on the Thaiger Talk forums today!
Pattaya3 hours ago

Fans flock to free entry Pattaya Music Festival held every weekend of August

Road deaths4 hours ago

Innocent woman killed after high-speed race near Bangkok

Crime5 hours ago

Police raid Chinese porn studio in Chon Buri, 4 arrested

Bangkok6 hours ago

Blaze at US office near German Embassy in Bangkok

Expats6 hours ago

Aussie man plunges to death from 17th floor of Pattaya hotel

Thailand6 hours ago

More details emerge on Deadly Fire in NightClub | GMT

Chon Buri20 hours ago

Faulty wiring, poor construction, unsafe materials in Mountain B fire

Chon Buri20 hours ago

Mountain B: Owner out on bail, Bangkok club inspection, viral moment

Central Thailand21 hours ago

Thai woman murders her abusive boyfriend in front of a monk

Thailand11 months ago

Morning Top Stories Thailand | Police to end protests, Human Trafficking | September 14

Thailand1 year ago

Thailand News Today | Thai Airways in rehab, All go for Songkran | March 4

Tourism1 year ago

Phuket’s nightlife. Yes, bars and clubs are still open | VIDEO

Phuket1 year ago

Thailand News Today | Covid passport talks, Thai Airways heads to court | March 2

Tourism1 year ago

Phuket Thai food treats you need to try | VIDEO

Thailand1 year ago

Thailand News Today | Bars, pubs and restaurants ‘sort of’ back to normal | Feb 23

Tourism1 year ago

In search of Cat & Dog Cafés in Phuket Town | VIDEO

Thailand2 years ago

Thailand News Today | Gambling crackdown, Seafood market to reopen, Vlogger challenge | Jan 21

Thailand2 years ago

Thailand News Today | Covid testing for visas, Business impact, Vaccine approval | January 19

Thailand2 years ago

Thailand News Today | Weekend Bangkok bombs, Thailand fires, Covid update | January 18

Thailand2 years ago

Thailand News Today | Stray car on runway, Indonesian quake, 300 baht tourist fee | January 15

Thailand2 years ago

Thailand News Today | Governor off respirator, sex-trafficking arrest, condo prices falling | January 14

Thailand2 years ago

Thailand News Today | Chinese vaccine, Thailand ‘drug hub’, Covid update | January 13

Thailand2 years ago

Thailand News Today | Bangkok may ease restrictions, Phuket bar curfew, Vaccine roll out | January 12

Thailand2 years ago

Thailand News Today | Covid latest, Cockfights closed down, Bryde’s Whale beached | January 11