Jump to content

Bringing my elderly mother with dementia to Thailand


Recommended Posts

So I spent 12 years in Thailand, been back in the UK 3 years looking after my elderly Mother.

I am now looking to move back to Thailand with her, as I am sure the level of care I could provide for her there would be way above what is possible or affordable in the UK, and ultimately a much better option for her than going into full time care here in the UK.

At the time of travel I will be 53 and she will be 91, we would both intend to use retirement visas.

However, she will not be able to meet the insurance requirement for a Non-Immigrant Visa type O, due to her age. I think the only way would be for us to come in on a 30-day visa exemption and convert to a Non O retirement in Thailand.

I understand that we would have to purchase onward flights out of the country in order to be able to fly without a visa. My concern is that we will be essentially entering on a false premise of a holiday when we are actually intending long term retirement.

This may perhaps seem obvious to the immigration officer when they are faced with my frail old Mother who does have dementia and would not really be able to give much of a coherent answer to any questioning.

I imagine the easiest way to answer a question as to the reason for travel would just be tourism. However, it would not take much thought from the immigration officer to suspect not.

Then we would need to come clean about our intentions and try to explain why we cannot come in on the correct visa.

How big of a problem could this be????

I also have some additional questions which may need a separate topic. Opening and operating her bank account, in the UK I have a lasting power of attorney LPA, I think that will not be recognized in Thailand?

Thanks for any responses. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

This may not be very helpful to you, or indeed welcome, but I think that you are out of your mind to attempt to bring the old lady here to live and die, out of her own country, out of her culture, among carers she does not understand and would find alien,  to a weather pattern she has no conception of, when she is already confused.  You may see this as a very unwelcome response, but do please  think again.  What you are proposing is borderline abuse. 

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

You are over thinking it. Re entering Visa Exempt. I see no reason why she would not come as a tourist. Getting a break from the weather in the UK is reason enough! Without a return ticket you can just show an onward ticket (a cheap throw away one) to a neighbouring country. 

More importantly is getting set up for the change to a Non O. Eg. bank account, 800k funds (each), long term rental (or,  perhaps, you are planning on buying a condo?), etc

Link to comment
Share on other sites

8 minutes ago, Pinetree said:

This may not be very helpful to you, or indeed welcome, but I think that you are out of your mind to attempt to bring the old lady here to live and die, out of her own country, out of her culture, among carers she does not understand and would find alien,  to a weather pattern she has no conception of, when she is already confused.  You may see this as a very unwelcome response, but do please  think again.  What you are proposing is borderline abuse. 

I disagree. 

I have personal experience with the care situation in the UK. One month costs in the UK probably stretches to almost a year in Thailand. 

I already mentioned the weather in another post. Think about the cold, dark winters...

The culture shock is a non issue. With advanced dementia she is not going to notice the difference. 

  • Like 4
Link to comment
Share on other sites

She will be staying with me, with carers who speak enough English to understand her needs and spend quality time with her. Most of the carers who call in for 30 mins at a time here don't have great English. 

I am sure that she will be better off, thanks.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

8 minutes ago, M.O. said:

You are over thinking it. Re entering Visa Exempt. I see no reason why she would not come as a tourist. Getting a break from the weather in the UK is reason enough! Without a return ticket you can just show an onward ticket (a cheap throw away one) to a neighbouring country. 

More importantly is getting set up for the change to a Non O. Eg. bank account, 800k funds (each), long term rental (or,  perhaps, you are planning on buying a condo?), etc

We would rent, no issues with the 800k, although may choose to just use an agent anyway. The opening and operating her bank account is a concern.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

4 minutes ago, James, said:

We would rent, no issues with the 800k, although may choose to just use an agent anyway. The opening and operating her bank account is a concern.

Suggest you use an agent to open your bank accounts. The bank officer may be quite understanding with regards to operation of the accounts with your Power of Attorney. You do have documentation to show? Not that he will be able to read it. Just wave it around. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

4 minutes ago, M.O. said:

Suggest you use an agent to open your bank accounts. The bank officer may be quite understanding with regards to operation of the accounts with your Power of Attorney. You do have documentation to show? Not that he will be able to read it. Just wave it around. 

OK thanks yes, will use an agent for everything possible. Yes I have a UK LPA.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Plan B, enter Visa exempt > Non O at Immigration > 1 year extension.

You still have other potential problems re your LPA.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

8 hours ago, James, said:

So I spent 12 years in Thailand, been back in the UK 3 years looking after my elderly Mother.

I am now looking to move back to Thailand with her, as I am sure the level of care I could provide for her there would be way above what is possible or affordable in the UK, and ultimately a much better option for her than going into full time care here in the UK.

At the time of travel I will be 53 and she will be 91, we would both intend to use retirement visas.

However, she will not be able to meet the insurance requirement for a Non-Immigrant Visa type O, due to her age. I think the only way would be for us to come in on a 30-day visa exemption and convert to a Non O retirement in Thailand.

I understand that we would have to purchase onward flights out of the country in order to be able to fly without a visa. My concern is that we will be essentially entering on a false premise of a holiday when we are actually intending long term retirement.

This may perhaps seem obvious to the immigration officer when they are faced with my frail old Mother who does have dementia and would not really be able to give much of a coherent answer to any questioning.

I imagine the easiest way to answer a question as to the reason for travel would just be tourism. However, it would not take much thought from the immigration officer to suspect not.

Then we would need to come clean about our intentions and try to explain why we cannot come in on the correct visa.

How big of a problem could this be????

I also have some additional questions which may need a separate topic. Opening and operating her bank account, in the UK I have a lasting power of attorney LPA, I think that will not be recognized in Thailand?

Thanks for any responses. 

7 hours ago, M.O. said:

I disagree. 

I have personal experience with the care situation in the UK. One month costs in the UK probably stretches to almost a year in Thailand. 

I already mentioned the weather in another post. Think about the cold, dark winters...

The culture shock is a non issue. With advanced dementia she is not going to notice the difference. 

So kind of you to do this for your mum. Thailand weather is a lot better for elderly people. I wish I was able to bring my elderly dad to live his final years in Thailand. Everytime we travelled to Thailand he was so active and a lot healthier. 

Elderly care is so much better in Thailand than in some of the western age care facilities, so I totally get what you're trying to do. 

Have you considered an Elite Visa (5 years) for your mum? Less bureaucracy from officials, if you can afford it. 

Good luck. 

  • Like 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Posted (edited)

I would seriously investigate this further.

My mum was in a similar situation before she died in Scotland at 95 about 4 years ago.

Her last 5 years were in a care home (which did take care of her very well) but cost £3000 per month. We were forced to sell her property and only when her savings dropped to £30k did it transfer to free care. If I had thought of your idea before she became bedridden I would have seriously considered it.

I would also check out the many Thai care homes now expanding in Thailand. A quick google returned several such as this one.

https://www.facebook.com/baanlalisacm

https://www.nursinghomecm.com/

This one is in English that has dementia care

https://www.careresortchiangmai.com/index.php?viewID=6

https://www.careresortchiangmai.com/

I admire your willingness to help your mother but I know from experience how difficult this can get further down the line. A good care home could save you much anxiety.

Nursing homes in Thailand is a growing sector and the home may even be able to advise on your best visa for entry.

Good luck.

Edited by Saltire
  • Like 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 3 weeks later...
On 5/14/2022 at 7:55 AM, Breeze said:

So kind of you to do this for your mum. Thailand weather is a lot better for elderly people. I wish I was able to bring my elderly dad to live his final years in Thailand. Everytime we travelled to Thailand he was so active and a lot healthier. 

Elderly care is so much better in Thailand than in some of the western age care facilities, so I totally get what you're trying to do. 

Have you considered an Elite Visa (5 years) for your mum? Less bureaucracy from officials, if you can afford it. 

Good luck. 

Nice post, and I also salute the OP for kindly looking after his mother. Most people would have deserted theirs.

Care homes in Britain are outrageously expensive, with frequent reports of abuse. As for cultural differences, most of the staff in British care homes hail from overseas anyway. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 5/14/2022 at 12:04 AM, Pinetree said:

This may not be very helpful to you, or indeed welcome, but I think that you are out of your mind to attempt to bring the old lady here to live and die, out of her own country, out of her culture, among carers she does not understand and would find alien,  to a weather pattern she has no conception of, when she is already confused.  You may see this as a very unwelcome response, but do please  think again.  What you are proposing is borderline abuse. 

The road to hell is paved with good intentions, as this post clearly shows. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

2 hours ago, dbrenn said:

The road to hell is paved with good intentions, as this post clearly shows. 

My post was not made in that vain, but was thinly vailed criticism. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Unfortunately, your content contains terms that we do not allow. Please edit your content to remove the highlighted words below.
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

 Share

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By posting on Thaiger Talk you agree to the Terms of Use