Jump to content

Calling all Poets!


King Cotton
 Share

Recommended Posts

 

The Frolicsome Kick of the Limerick, as pioneered by Edward Lear and others

 Anyone feeling that creative urge to write poetry like those crazy dudes, who for centuries have kept the Limerick river flowing?

Like the tried and tested favourites that somehow I’ve remembered for over 60 years . . .

 

There was a young lady from Tottenham,

Who’d no manners, unless she’d forgotten ‘em,

At tea at the vicars,

She tore off her knickers,

Because, she explained, she felt hot in ‘em.

 

There once was a man from Montrose,

Who’d no pockets in all of his clothes,

When asked by his lass

Where he carried his brass,

He said “Darling, I pay through the nose.”

 

Or the utterly nonsensical ones like this old favourite . . .

There once was a man from Dunoon,

Who always ate soup with a fork.

He said "Since I eat

Neither fish, fowl nor flesh,

I should finish my dinner too quick."

 

Here’s my rework: just as silly but with a nice hubby & wife twist

There was a young man from Dunoon,

Who always ate soup with a fork,

When asked by his wife

If he might try a knife,

He said “Darling, don’t be so absurd.”

 

And, for when the Limerick meter grows tedious, anything goes . . .

I always eat peas with honey,

I’ve done it all my life,

They do taste kind of funny,

But it keeps them on the knife.

 

Anyone feeling the urge to be just as frolicsome as Edward Lear and his pals?

Whilst there are countless Limericks on Google, I'm looking for members' original creations and who knows . . . there may be a BAFTA-like award up for grabs . . . the TTALW award in our case!

Nonsense, innuendo or just sublime poetry . . . anything goes as long as it’s not too rude!

 

 

  • Like 2
  • Thanks 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 3 months later...
On 10/5/2021 at 8:38 PM, King Cotton said:

The Frolicsome Kick of the Limerick, as pioneered by Edward Lear and others

 Anyone feeling that creative urge to write poetry like those crazy dudes, who for centuries have kept the Limerick river flowing?

Like the tried and tested favourites that somehow I’ve remembered for over 60 years . . .

 

There was a young lady from Tottenham,

Who’d no manners, unless she’d forgotten ‘em,

At tea at the vicars,

She tore off her knickers,

Because, she explained, she felt hot in ‘em.

 

There once was a man from Montrose,

Who’d no pockets in all of his clothes,

When asked by his lass

Where he carried his brass,

He said “Darling, I pay through the nose.”

 

Or the utterly nonsensical ones like this old favourite . . .

There once was a man from Dunoon,

Who always ate soup with a fork.

He said "Since I eat

Neither fish, fowl nor flesh,

I should finish my dinner too quick."

 

Here’s my rework: just as silly but with a nice hubby & wife twist

There was a young man from Dunoon,

Who always ate soup with a fork,

When asked by his wife

If he might try a knife,

He said “Darling, don’t be so absurd.”

 

And, for when the Limerick meter grows tedious, anything goes . . .

I always eat peas with honey,

I’ve done it all my life,

They do taste kind of funny,

But it keeps them on the knife.

 

Anyone feeling the urge to be just as frolicsome as Edward Lear and his pals?

Whilst there are countless Limericks on Google, I'm looking for members' original creations and who knows . . . there may be a BAFTA-like award up for grabs . . . the TTALW award in our case!

Nonsense, innuendo or just sublime poetry . . . anything goes as long as it’s not too rude!

 

 

 

There once was man from Bangkok
On Thiagher forums he posted no schlock
He said with a grin
While out in Hua Hin
There are things you should just not mock.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thailand's taxis are crooked , all
Bold prices they ask, with shameless gall
At the meter don't look
While your money is took
The fare is always big, never small

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thailand is a racist retreat
With corruption under your feet
The locals pay a price
Which foreigners pay twice
While the young daughters you happily greet. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

There was a young lass from Tokyo
Whose boyfriend resembled Pinochio
Whenever he lied
She would instantly hide
As it wasn’t his nose that would grow.

Edited by Saltire
  • Haha 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Smiling pretty women you will meet
And gladly you declare your defeat
With kisses galore
You want a bit more
Until true love is found at your feet

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I heard this rhyme when I was a young boy at school and it implanted poetry into my veins,. so it wasn't all bard then.

There was old man from Leeds 

Who swallowed a packet of seeds

From out of his bum

A geranium sprung

And his balls were covered in weeds.

 

 

 

 

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 1/23/2022 at 2:30 AM, Vince said:

There once was man from Bangkok
On Thiagher forums he posted no schlock
He said with a grin
While out in Hua Hin
There are things you should just not mock.

I would stick to quantity rather than quality.🏳️😂

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

There was a young chappie named Cotton

Who wrote stanzas that can't be forgotten
 
The verses he wrote
 
Would all get my vote
 
Because he never writes anything rotten
 
 

 

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

 

There is a forum called Thaiger
Where some members seem a bit hyper
Perhaps they are drunk
Typing hours of junk
While drooling floods of saliva

 

 

  • Like 1
  • Haha 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

If only Geronimo came 

With his wit, we'd be put to shame

But sadly he's not 

But I won't forgot 

This rhyme is really quite lame

 

 

  • Like 1
  • Haha 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

6 hours ago, Faraday said:

If only Geronimo came 

With his wit, we'd be put to shame

But sadly he's not 

But I won't forgot 

This rhyme is really quite lame

Faraday drinks wine the Australian way

From a middy he made out of clay
 
He'll drink from morning till night 
 
Untill he loses his sight
 
Then he'll walk with a Ned Kelly sway. G'day.
 

 

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

It was in Connecticut in a well that drowned my auntie Eve.

And even years later my uncle drank the water only through a sieve.

By John O'Mill

= = = = =

 

Edited by Faz
Dutch removed
Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 minute ago, BlueSphinx said:

It was in Connecticut in a well that drowned my auntie Eve.

And even years later my uncle drank the water only through a sieve.

By John O'Mill

= = = = =

And here the original in dutch language

In Connecticut
in een waterput
verdronk m'n tante Eefje.

Nog jaren later
dronk mijn oom 't water
uitsluitend door een zeefje.

It does make more sense in Dutch BS. 😂😂😂

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Unfortunately, your content contains terms that we do not allow. Please edit your content to remove the highlighted words below.
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

 Share

  • Join Thaiger Talk Today!

    Sign up in 30 seconds and join the discussion on everything Thailand!

  • Latest Posts

    1. 24

      News Forum - Baltimore bridge collapse prompts urgent search (video)

    2. 24

      News Forum - Baltimore bridge collapse prompts urgent search (video)

    3. 24

      News Forum - Baltimore bridge collapse prompts urgent search (video)

    4. 24

      News Forum - Baltimore bridge collapse prompts urgent search (video)

  • New Topics

  • Popular Now

  • Tell a friend

    Love Thaiger Talk? Tell a friend!
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By posting on Thaiger Talk you agree to the Terms of Use