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Wear a condom and a mask: Health department advises Covid “safe” sex


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10 minutes ago, Lowseasonlover said:

Should this post be in the Joke section?

Well it is possibly a poster on the wall of every minister's private office so when their mia nois visit they can cross off each position achieved with a satisfactory outcome. So perhaps to them it is not a joke more like a challenge to meet their KPIs.?

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Well i will never get covid from the wife during sex? We practice safe sex, we just dont do it, cannot get safer than that.?

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12 hours ago, Lowseasonlover said:

Should this post be in the Joke section?

Not at all, in fact, never mind covid,  there should have been a health warning attached. stating this "should not be tried at home".

 I now think I have a sprained ankle, my neck feels as if it is almost dislocated by my wife's ankles from trying that centre diagram out and due to over exuberance or possibly fatigue my wife may have to go to the hospital for a rectal examination due to a slip up performing that last diagram ?

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Judging by these new sex guidelines guys it looks like the missionary position is still considered to be safe with plastic gloves on that is.

Phew! What a relief!

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41 minutes ago, BeingFrank said:

Judging by these new sex guidelines guys it looks like the missionary position is still considered to be safe with plastic gloves on that is.

And Perspex face shields, too, if you want to be super-safe.

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11 hours ago, Colin said:

Reminds me of the question "what is the safest contraceptive ?", to which the answer is " A wall".

 

Surprised they didn't recommend glory holes ?

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Condoms, disposable tampons, dental dams, and rubber gloves infected with secretions should be thrown away in a covered bin. 

Shit, so you're saying now I can't nail them to the walls in my house anymore, like I always do? 

And what are they gonna do about me not doing the things they want? Are they gonna break in and pull me off of my wife? 

The one coming up with this list clearly never gets laid. If I can't have any, you guys can't either. 

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4 hours ago, BeingFrank said:

Judging by these new sex guidelines guys it looks like the missionary position is still considered to be safe with plastic gloves on that is.

Phew! What a relief!

Next, wear a hazmat suit while doing it. 

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3 hours ago, PhayakPeter said:

I've had 2 vacine, am wearing a mask and a condom, do I need to quarantine for 2 weeks? 

I imagine someone asking this exact sentence either on arrival at the airport to immigration or to the hotel staff. I'm ready to go out, I'm wearing my condom. ??

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1 hour ago, DiJoDavO said:

And what are they gonna do about me not doing the things they want? Are they gonna break in and pull me off of my wife? 

I think that's the next phase of the campaign.  CCTV livestreams integrated into the Mor Chana app.

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Now come on !!! Really? Im not sure if this should not be moved into the comedy forum. I am in America, where we cant get people to get a life saving vaccine (I know Ill catch a pile for saying that) let alone give up sex. Lie really? Will there be condom machines and mask machines in the bathrooms at the airport for the wanten weary traveler? Like really?

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On 8/9/2021 at 8:27 AM, KaptainRob said:

There's a correct way and a wrong way to apply the condom >

image.png.cf51d55dd9222154a46b3a424e6a5e9f.png

image.png.fc16a9a211dd5dc0f1a889ca190d1b11.png

I was looking for a photo of Howie Mandel with an inflated condom on his head but you beat me to it.  ?

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