Jump to content

Farting May Spread Covid


Recommended Posts

Dog-fart

 

A girl was meeting her boyfriend's parents for the first time!
Unfortunately she was dealing with a severely upset stomach after a dodgy kebab  and a few (or not so few) cocktails the previous night . As they were seated around the dinner table she had to try and release some of the crippling pressure, and decided to let out a little gas quietly. Her "little" bit of relief resulted in a squeak audible enough that everyone at the table heard and a few could smell. Their heads snapped up, and the father looked at her, then the dog lying on the floor behind her chair and said "Max".

"This is great", she thought. "They think it was the dog" and everyone went back to eating. 5 minutes later the pain had returned and she felt the need to relieve more pressure. Without shifting she let out another, this one twice as loud and relieving as the last. Everyone looked up again and the father says "MAX!" much to her delight. Everyone resumed eating.

Feeling much better but still not out of the woods, the girl decided to go for the gusto and completely relieve herself from the still present pain of the gastro-fiend. Brimming with confidence she let out an unholy ripper, all of which lasted nearly 4 seconds. Everyone stopped eating, covered their noses and mouths and looked at one another. The father put down his fork, rose from his chair, looked at the dog and shouted..

"Max! For the love of God! Get away from there before she cr*ps on you!!"

 

  • Like 1
  • Haha 9
Link to comment
Share on other sites

10 minutes ago, BlueSphinx said:

Not corona-virus.jpeg

I don't know, but depending on what our little Frenchie girl eats, it can be noxious and quite frequent. The last 2 days and starting today again have been brutal.

  • Cool 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 hour ago, MrStretch said:

Amazingly, or maybe not, it appears that some people are seriously discussing the possibility of Covid being spread through "bare butt" farts.

https://www.the-sun.com/news/3341879/covid-farting-ministers-claim/

It's suggested to wear clothes "below the waist", like underwear, to act as a filter when you toot one off.

Only in lifts !!

  • Haha 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

10 minutes ago, AussieBob said:

Only in lifts !!

Surely it depends on the direction?

A lift going up would accelerate so the fart would end up on the floor. A lift going down - beware - hot air rises!

  • Haha 2
  • Cool 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

one must also consider it could be an inexpensive covid test. if there is a fart in the room stay away from the person who does not smell it. Loss of smell is a symptom. If you are with people you do not enjoy cut one loose and claim you smell nothing.

Remember the woman who goes to see the doctor and  and tells him she is farting but they are quiet and do not smell. in fact I have done it three times since I have been sitting here, the doctor says i am going to give you these pills for smelling ability. she says ok but they are still quiet doctor says we will work on your ears next week

  • Like 1
  • Haha 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Posted (edited)
On 7/24/2021 at 10:32 PM, BlueSphinx said:

Dog-fart

A girl was meeting her boyfriend's parents for the first time!
Unfortunately she was dealing with a severely upset stomach after a dodgy kebab  and a few (or not so few) cocktails the previous night . As they were seated around the dinner table she had to try and release some of the crippling pressure, and decided to let out a little gas quietly. Her "little" bit of relief resulted in a squeak audible enough that everyone at the table heard and a few could smell. Their heads snapped up, and the father looked at her, then the dog lying on the floor behind her chair and said "Max".

"This is great", she thought. "They think it was the dog" and everyone went back to eating. 5 minutes later the pain had returned and she felt the need to relieve more pressure. Without shifting she let out another, this one twice as loud and relieving as the last. Everyone looked up again and the father says "MAX!" much to her delight. Everyone resumed eating.

Feeling much better but still not out of the woods, the girl decided to go for the gusto and completely relieve herself from the still present pain of the gastro-fiend. Brimming with confidence she let out an unholy ripper, all of which lasted nearly 4 seconds. Everyone stopped eating, covered their noses and mouths and looked at one another. The father put down his fork, rose from his chair, looked at the dog and shouted..

"Max! For the love of God! Get away from there before she cr*ps on you!!"

I have heard it before, but it still makes me laugh. ?

Edited by bushav8r
  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 7/24/2021 at 9:39 PM, MrStretch said:

Amazingly, or maybe not, it appears that some people are seriously discussing the possibility of Covid being spread through "bare butt" farts.

https://www.the-sun.com/news/3341879/covid-farting-ministers-claim/

It's suggested to wear clothes "below the waist", like underwear, to act as a filter when you toot one off.

I have heard face masks referred to as face diapers.  Perhaps we will have to start wearing actual diapers sometime soon.  Pull my finger..

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

 Share

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By posting on Thaiger Talk you agree to the Terms of Use